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HoVER aSS
sHerLOCK iS a gIrLS name
©grizzlysbear

March 31 2014 - 1 note



"Where do we draw the line for taking your chosen style seriously or sensing the potential for ridiculessnoss"

"Where do we draw the line for taking your chosen style seriously or sensing the potential for ridiculessnoss"




March 31 2014 - 0 notes



im a dingle





March 31 2014 - 0 notes



Meeep





March 31 2014 - 1,909 notes



williamstern:

ADV.1 Lamborghini Aventador at the track.

williamstern:

ADV.1 Lamborghini Aventador at the track.





March 26 2014 - 264 notes



im-horngry:

Caramel - As Requested!

im-horngry:

Caramel - As Requested!





March 26 2014 - 1,998 notes







March 26 2014 - 1,000 notes



fullcravings:

Thin Mint Pound Cake




March 26 2014 - 792 notes







March 26 2014 - 0 notes



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March 26 2014 - 0 notes



I fun

stuff





March 26 2014 - 0 notes



Insults

Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously has never heard any good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs. InsultRatingVotesYou must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.220I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.67It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.54Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?88If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.73Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.71Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.397Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?30I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.131 
             It’s kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence.35Hey, you have somthing on your chin… no, the 3rd one down20Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head45Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.39Shut up, you’ll never be the man your mother is.72I’ll never forget the first time we met, although I’ll keep trying.8If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!28You are proof that God has a sense of humor.66It’s better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.27Shock me, say something intelligent.21Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?19Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable — like a coma.52Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?22Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?8So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey. 19You look like a before picture.16I’ve seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!21You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.24You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, “concentrate”.32I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?31Looks like you traded in your neck for an extra chin!13Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.14Don’t you need a license to be that ugly?24Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.6Nice tan, orange is my favorite color.9If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse!6What are you doing here? Did someone leave your cage open?6Everyone who ever loved you was wrong.9Are you always an idiot, or just when I’m around?13I may be fat, but you’re ugly, and I can lose weight.30Learn from your parents’ mistakes - use birth control!10You are so stupid, you’d trip over a cordless phone.14You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back!14You do realize makeup isn’t going to fix your stupidity?15You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away!11Your parents hated you so much you bath toys were an iron and a toaster9Your ambition outweighs your relevant skills.5It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the ‘impression’ that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.6I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.13Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.14So you’ve changed your mind, does this one work any better?7You couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.7You are so old, your birth-certificate expired.15Don’t feel sad, don’t feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.40Come again when you can’t stay quite so long.9You act like your arrogance is a virtue.9If you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless.10100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?15I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!13Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you’re an asshole!14If a crackhead saw you, he’d think he needs to go on a diet.7We all sprang from apes, but you didn’t spring far enough.19If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re invulnerable.4I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in? 8If you had another brain, it would be lonely.8Oh my God, look at you. Was anyone else hurt in the accident?6Your dad’s condom is a bigger than your personality.4You’re so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.8You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals.3If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.5You are so old, you fart dust.14Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul.10You occasionally stumble over the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened.6You’re as useless as a screen door on a submarine.11You’re as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.10The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg.10When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?10It’s too bad stupidity isn’t painful.5Brains aren’t everything. In your case they’re nothing.12You must think you’re strong, but you only smell strong.4If your brain exploded, it wouldn’t even mess up your hair.4Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I’ve wanted to cut it down.7If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.10You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat.6If brains were dynamite you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.5You’re the reason why women earn 75 cents to the dollar.13I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.12Are your parents siblings?21You’ll make a great first wife some day.11Yeah you’re pretty, pretty stupid5Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.9Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.18Your mom must have a really loud bark!8You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.4For those who never forget a face, you are an exception.9Even if you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid!11I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.6You are so old, even your memory is in black and white.19I hear the only place you’re ever invited is outside.24Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.6People like you are the reason I work out.11I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived.9When anorexics see you, they think they need to go on a diet.14Please tell me you don’t home-school your kids. 21You’re stupid because you’re blonde.147

              
        
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March 26 2014 - 912 notes



thisistheverge:

A Dogecoin-sponsored NASCAR is happening after group raises more than $44,700




December 28 2013 - 0 notes



Type into Google Translate in Czech:

zkzzkzkzzzkzkkkzkzkzkzzzkzzkkkkzkzzzkjazjazjazjazjazjazjazoplkoploplkoplk





December 28 2013 - 0 notes



Follow and like if you think Miley Cyrus is

I’LL HIT YOU…
I’ll  hit you so hard by the time you come down, you’ll need a passport and
a plane ticket back!
I’ll hit you so hard you ‘ll have to take off your shoes to shit!
I’ll hit you so hard you’ll have to unzip your pants to say hi!
I’ll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!
I’ll hit you so hard your wife will fall!

DUMB…
You’re so dumb you think socialism means partying!
You’re so dumb you think manual labor is a Mexican!
You’re so dumb you think Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
You’re so dumb it takes you an hour and a half to watch “60 Minutes”!
You  so stupid you probably think Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone
bill.
You so dumb you got blonde roots in your eyeballs.
Your so stupid, that you got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away
all the W’s.
Your so stupid, that you went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Your so stupid, that you went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Your so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.

UGLY…
She  was  so ugly…  they used to push her face into dough to make gorilla
biscuits
You’re so ugly you’d make a train take a dirt road!
You’re so ugly when you walk into a bank, they turn the cameras off!
You’re  so  ugly,  if you stuck your head out the window, they’d arrest you
for mooning!
You’re  so  ugly  if  you  joined  an  ugly  contest, they’d say “Sorry, no
professionals!”
You’re so ugly your face is closed on weekends!
You’re so ugly you could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
You’re so ugly if my dog looked like you, I’d shave its ass and teach it to
walk backwards!
You’re so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped your mother!
You’re  so ugly when you were born, your mother saw the afterbirth and said
"Twins!"
You’re so ugly they know what time you were born, because your face stopped
the clock!
She’s so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock!
She’s so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
Your face so so ugly when you cry the tears run up your face.
Your so ugly, your mother had to feed you with a sling shot.
Your  so  ugly,  your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the
dog to play with you.

FAT…
You’re so fat when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the HOUSE
You’re so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall!
You’re  so  fat  if  you  weighed  five  more  pounds,  you could get group
insurance!
You’re  so  fat  you  get  clothes in three sizes:  extra large, jumbo, and
oh-my-god-it’s-coming-towards-us!
You’re so fat if you got your shoes shined, you’d have to take his word for
it!
Your  so  fat,  that you have to strap a beeper on your belt to warn people
you are backing up.
Your so fat, that you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.

GENERAL…
'Scuse  me,  I can't seem to find my dick.  Mind if I look in your mother's
mouth?
Your wife said she liked seafood.  So I gave her crabs.
Are those your tits, or did Laurel and Hardy leave you their heads?
Is that an accent, or is your mouth just full of sperm?
If I had change for a buck, I could have been your dad!
The  difference  between  your  mama  and  a  rooster?   The  rooster  says
cock-a-doodle  doo,  your mama says any-cock’ll do.  I would have been your
dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.
You’re so skinny, that you use a bandaid as a maxi-pad.
You’re like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.

MOTHERS…
I  saved  your mother’s life today…  I killed a shiteating dog on the way
over.
Your  mother’s  armpits  are  so hairy it looks like she had Buckwheat in a
headlock.
Your mother’s so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.
Your mom’s so fat, her yearbook picture was an aerial photo.
Your mom’s so fat, I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Your mom’s so fat, I had to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.
They  say  that  beauty is only a light switch away, with your mom I had to
use a black light.
Your mom’s so stupid it takes her a half hour to make minute rice.
Your mom’s so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Your mom’s got snakeskin teeth.
Your mom’s so stupid I saw her in the frozen food section w/a fishing rod.
Your mom’s so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing Her peanuts.
Your mom’s got hair on her tongue and she gargles w/curl activator.
Your mom’s got a wooden leg w/a real foot.
Your mom’s got a leather wig w/suede sideburns.
Your momma’s so fat, she jumped up in the air — AND GOT STUCK!
Your mother’s like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
Your mother’s like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
Your mother’s like mustard, she spreads easy.
Your Mama’s got three teeth…one in her mouth & two in her pocket.
Your Mama’s breath’s so strong, she be blowin’ bubbles with Now & Laters.
Your Mama’s so old, her birthday’s expired.
Your  Mother is so stupid, she needs a ruler beside her bed to see how long
she can sleep.
Your Mother is so dumb, she got hit by a cup and said she got mugged.
Your  Mother  is  so  old, I told her to start acting her age and the bitch
died.
Your mama’s so old she owes Jesus Christ a quarter
Your mama’s so poor she went to McDonald’s to put a shake on layaway
Your mama’s so dumb she sold the car for gas money
Your mama’s so dumb she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Your  Mama’s  So  fat,  when  her  beepgr  goes off, people thought she was
backing up
Your Mama’s So stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Your Mama’s So fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”
Your Mama’s So stupid, when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign,
she went home and got 16 friends
Your Mama’s So fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Your Mama’s So fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Your Mama’s So fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Your Mama’s So fat, she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Your Mama’s So fat, when she steps on a scale, it read “…to be continued”
Your  Mama’s  So nasty, when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist
to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt.
Your Mama’s So fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Your  Mama’s So ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no
professionals.”
Your Mama’s So ugly, she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Your  Mama’s  So  ugly,  just  after  she was born, her mother said “What a
treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.”
Your Mama’s So old, I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
Your Mama’s So ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Your Mama’s So ugly, they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower
Your  Mama’s So ugly, they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for
Star Wars.
Your  Mama’s So poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked
her what she was doing, she said “Moving.”
Your Mama’s So fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Your  Mama’s  So ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle,
they put it around her neck
Your Mama’s So ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Your  Mama’s  So  ugly,  when  she  walks  into  a  bank, they turn off the
surveillence cameras
Your Mama’s So fat, the highway patrol made her wear “Caution!  Wide Turn”
Your  Mama’s  So  stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran
outside with a spoon
Your  Mama’s  So  fat,  when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE
HOUSE!
Your  Mama’s  So  fat,  when  she steps on a scale, it read “one at a time,
please”
Your  Mama’s  So  stupid,  she  told  everyone  that she was “illegitiment”
because she couldn’t read.
Your Mama’s So ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Your  Mama’s So ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the
dogs to play with her.
Your  Mama’s  So  ugly, when she walks down the street in September, people
say “Damn, is it Halloween already?”
Your Mama’s So ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Your Mom’s like a race car driver…  she burns a lot of rubbers
Your Mom’s like a doorknob…  everybody gets a turn
Your Mom’s like an ice cream cone…  everyone gets a lick
Your Mom’s like a bowling ball you can fit three fingers in
Your Mom’s like a bowling ball she always winds up in the gutter
Your Mom’s like a bowling ball she always comes back for more
Your Mom’s like McDonalds…  Billions and Billions served
Your Mom’s like Denny’s…  open 24 hours
Your Mom’s like a shotgun…  give her a cock and she blows
Your Mom’s like 7up…never had it never will.
Your mama’s like a railroad track:  She gets laid all over the country.
Your mama’s like a T.V.:  A two year old could turn her on.
Your mama’s like a goalie:  she changes her pads after three periods.
Your mama’s like Crazy Eddie, she’s practically giving it all away
You’re mother’s so dumb…she got stabbed at a shoot-out.
Your mama’s like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
Your  mom  is  like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her
away.
You mom is so fat, everytime she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Your so ugly, your mother had to feed you with a sling shot.
Your  so  ugly,  your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the
dog to play with you.
Your  so  fat,  that you have to strap a beeper on your belt to warn people
you are backing up.
Your so skinny, that you use a bandaid as a maxi-pad.
Your so fat, that you have to use a matress as a maxi-pad.
Your so stupid, that you got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away
all the W’s.
Your so stupid, that you went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Your so stupid, that you went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Your like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.
Your so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.

You’re mother’s so dumb…
..she got stabbed at a shoot-out.
..heard it was chilly outside and grabbed a bowl.
..got hit by a parked car.

Insults…
I’m  looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven’t had it
yet.
When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I’ll
say your stupidity.
Well I’ll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.
I’ve  had  many  cases  of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I
feel for you is the real thing.
You’re the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.
Don’t you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already
without your working so hard to give us another?
The  thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much
as I loathe you.
When you get run over by a car it shouldn’t be listed under accidents.
All of your ancestors must number in the millions; its hard to believe that
many people are to blame for producing you.
Ever since I saw you in your family tree I’ve wanted to cut it down.
I  hear  that  when  you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to
take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
I  hear that when your mother first saw you she decided to leave you on the
front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.
You  were  born  because  your  mother  didn’t believe in abortion; now she
believes in infanticide.
No  one should be punished for accident of birth but you look too much like
a wreck not to be.
Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.
You  were the answer to a prayer.  Your parents prayed that the world would
be made to suffer and here you came along.
You’re a habit I’d like to kick; with both feet.
I hear the only place you’re ever invited is outside.
I would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me displeasure.
You’ve never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.
At  your speed you’d better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will
fly through your cranium.
If you ever tax your brain, don’t charge more than a penny.
Don’t you have a terribly empty feeling —— in your skull?
You  have  nothing  to fear from my baser instincts; its my finer ones that
tell me to kill you.
It’s your life —- but I wish you’d let us have it.
I  don’t  consider you a vulture.  I consider you something a vulture would
eat.
I  think you should live for the moment.  But after that I doubt I’ll think
so.
Man alive!  But I wish you weren’t.
I  believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you
WERE dead.
I  admire  your because I’ve never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a
thief and a cheat.
You’re acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.
You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!
You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light.





December 28 2013 - 0 notes



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